My friend Dan adopted an ex-racer, a sleek red fawn greyhound that he named Sonny Boy. In the instructions that came with the dog was the warning that the owner should be careful to choose a good quality dog food and avoid certain foods because “greyhound gas is indescribable.”
Today I received this report from Dan:
I made a big mistake. I cooked Sonny’s turkey along with mine, and without thinking I cooked his with garlic, too. Well, some hours later I can tell you that the gas coming out of this dog would end a hostage situation in seconds. It has to be strong enough to liquefy diamonds, or at least weaken steel. I went outside to get away from it, but when I opened the door to go out, three bats and an owl dropped from the sky, dead. I feel responsible somehow.